Alpacto › Challenges & games › Questions to ask your girlfriend
Questions to ask your girlfriend: 128 to try, and a way to ask them again next year
Good questions to ask your girlfriend are the ones she can answer with a story, and this page has 128 of them in eight groups. Draw one at random with the picker, keep your favorites, and print the list with today’s date on top.
The printed list is the part you can pull out of a drawer next year.
In short
Pick a group, draw a question, and give your own answer too. Keep the questions that start real conversations, then print them with the date at the top.
Ask the same list again in twelve months. Which answers changed is the interesting part.
Draw a random question to ask your girlfriend
Choose a group or draw from all of them. Keep saves a question to your list, and Skip hides it until you reload the page. When the list is ready, copy it into a note or print it; it is stored in this browser only.
Questions I want to ask my girlfriend
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Nothing kept yet. Press Keep on a question you want to ask.
Which questions to ask your girlfriend at each stage
Each stage has its own job. Early on you are learning her, and later you are checking that you still know her. The italic line is a question to open with.
The first months
You are finding out what she finds funny and what she cares about. Start in Cute and The past.
What was going through your head the first time you saw me walk in?
Six months to two years
You are finding out how the two of you handle stress and disagreement. Add About us, then Deep.
What would you like us to say sorry for faster?
Moving in, or planning to
You are finding out how a shared home will actually run. Go straight to Before moving in, then The future.
How do you want to handle money: a joint account, a shared pot, or separate accounts?
Years in
You are finding out what changed since the last time you asked. Deep and The future will show it.
What do you think I have taught you without trying?
How to ask your girlfriend a question and what to do with the answer
Go from light to heavy
In a 1997 experiment, pairs of strangers spent 45 minutes on tasks that gradually escalated in intensity, and they felt closer afterward than pairs who did small-talk tasks. The groups on this page run from light to heavy in the same spirit.
Source. Aron, Melinat, Aron, Vallone and Bator, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 1997, Study 1. The participants were strangers in a lab, not couples, so treat it as a reason to pace your evening and not as a promise.
Ask what she needs before you fix anything
When an answer turns out to be a hard one, ask do you want me to listen, or help figure it out? before you say anything else. It costs nothing, and it spares you from solving a problem she only wanted to say out loud.
Ask the same questions again in a year
Print your kept list and write today’s date at the top. Add a line under each question with what she said, fold the page into a drawer, and ask the same questions next year. Some answers will have moved, and the page shows by how much.
128 questions to ask your girlfriend, in eight groups
These are written to her, in the second person, from lightest to most serious, and none repeats the 120 on our questions to ask your partner page. Questions to ask your gf over text are in the first three groups. The Before moving in group is the practical one, so keep it for a weekend.
Cute questions to ask your girlfriend
Sixteen that are easy to answer and hard to answer without smiling.
- What was going through your head the first time you saw me walk in?
- Which little thing I did early on made you think I was a keeper?
- What song comes on and makes you think of me first?
- What do you secretly look forward to when I come home?
- Which of my sayings has slipped into your own vocabulary?
- What is the smallest gift anyone has given you that meant the most?
- If I hid a note somewhere in your day, where should I put it?
- What is your favorite way to wake up with me on a day off?
- Which photo of us do you keep coming back to?
- What does a perfect Tuesday night with me in it look like?
- When do you feel most looked after?
- What detail about you do you hope I never stop noticing?
- Which flower, snack, or little thing means I thought of you?
- What would you name the place where we always end up sitting?
- How did you describe me to your best friend after our first date?
- What do you want a stranger to guess about us from across the room?
Questions about her past
Sixteen about the years before you, for a lazy afternoon or a long drive.
- What was home like on the best day of your childhood?
- Which family recipe do you wish you could make exactly the way they did?
- What did you spend your first paycheck on, and did you regret it?
- Who was your childhood hero, and would they hold up today?
- What did you do the first time you were left alone in the house?
- Which year of school would you gladly redo, and which would you skip?
- What was your first big heartbreak, friendship or otherwise, and how did you recover?
- What is the farthest from home you went as a kid?
- What did you think being an adult would feel like, and how close was it?
- Which book, show, or movie did you play on repeat as a teenager?
- What did an adult tell you as a kid that you later found out was wrong?
- What was your worst job, and what did it teach you?
- Which neighbor, aunt, or family friend left the biggest mark on you?
- What did you tell the adults you would become when you grew up?
- What did your family do on long car rides?
- Which opinion you held at sixteen would embarrass you now?
Funny questions to ask your girlfriend
Sixteen for a slow dinner, a road trip, or a text thread that has gone quiet.
- What is your most unexpected talent, and when did you last use it?
- Which reality show contestant would you be on day one?
- What is the most dramatic thing you have done over something tiny?
- Which fictional character’s life would you swap for a week?
- Which word do you always say wrong, on purpose or by accident?
- What would your villain origin story be?
- What do you talk to when nobody else is around: a plant, a pet, the car?
- If your phone could keep only five apps, which would go first?
- What is the worst gift you ever pretended to love?
- How would your friends describe your driving in one word?
- What is the funniest thing that ever happened at a family dinner?
- What would you do with a million dollars that you would have to explain to me?
- Which conspiracy theory do you quietly enjoy?
- If our home had a ghost, what would it be haunting us about?
- What is your guilty-pleasure show for the nights I am out?
- In a zombie movie, which one item from our kitchen would you grab?
Questions about us
Sixteen about what the two of you are like together, as she sees it.
- Which day would you circle on a calendar of our time together?
- What do you think I have taught you without trying?
- What do I do that you appreciate and are not sure I know about?
- How are we different in ways that make us better?
- What would you like us to say sorry for faster?
- Which of our habits would you keep forever?
- When have you felt most proud to be with me?
- What does a good weekend look like when neither of us has plans?
- What one word would you put on the front of our relationship?
- What do you need more of from us as a pair?
- How do you feel on a night we spend apart?
- What do we keep starting and never finishing together, and do you want to?
- What was the hardest stretch we have been through, and what helped most?
- Which of my friends do you click with most, and which do you put up with?
- What do I do to make up after a fight that you would not want me to stop doing?
- What are you grateful for in us this month?
Deep questions to ask your girlfriend
Sixteen that ask for a real answer, so pick a night with nothing booked afterward.
- Which room, place, or person makes you feel safest, and what is it about them?
- What are you most afraid of getting wrong in your life?
- What are you proud of that nobody has congratulated you for?
- What part of your story do you wish people asked about?
- What do you do when you feel you are falling behind?
- Which belief about yourself would you most like to drop?
- Whose approval do you still chase, and why?
- What have you forgiven that you once thought you never would?
- When you are overwhelmed, do you need space, help, or company?
- What was the best decision you ever made on your own?
- Which of your values would you never trade away?
- What would you say to yourself from five years ago?
- What do you miss about being younger, and what do you not?
- What is the hardest part of being close to someone?
- How do you handle feeling insecure, and what helps?
- What would a life well lived look like to you at the end?
Questions about the future
Sixteen that point forward, with room for dreams that are not yet plans.
- What would you like to be doing on your next big birthday?
- Where would you spend a year if nothing held you in place?
- What skill would you like us to learn together?
- How do you picture our mornings in a home of our own?
- What career change, big or small, do you think about?
- If we had a free month, would you rather travel or stay and build something?
- What does financial comfort mean to you in numbers you could say out loud?
- How do you feel about kids, and what would change your answer?
- What fear about the future would you like us to take on together?
- Which holiday would you want to host someday?
- What do you want to be doing for work at fifty-five?
- What would you like us to look back on and say we did by next Christmas?
- Which dream have you downgraded because it felt unrealistic?
- Which friends do you want to grow old near?
- Which place would you pick for the slow years, near water, mountains, or a city?
- What is your ideal balance of adventure and routine over a year?
Questions to ask your girlfriend before moving in together
Sixteen about the daily mechanics, best covered before anyone signs a lease.
- What does a clean home mean to you, and what has to happen every day?
- Which chores are you happy to own for good?
- How do you recharge after a long day, and how do I stay out of the way?
- How do you want to handle money: a joint account, a shared pot, or separate accounts?
- What happens to our stuff if one of us ever moves out?
- How many nights a week would you like friends or family over?
- Who decides what goes on the walls, and how do we decide?
- How do you feel about me working from home next to you?
- Which habit of mine do you suspect will annoy you after a month?
- What does your bathroom routine need to stay calm?
- Would a shared calendar for plans and chores help or irritate you?
- What would make it feel like a home to you, beyond the furniture?
- What do we do if one of us needs more time alone than the other?
- What is your plan for the first month if it feels too crowded?
- How should we raise something that bothers us without turning it into a fight?
- Whose name goes on the lease, and who is responsible if one of us leaves?
Flirty questions to ask your girlfriend (spicy, but clean)
Sixteen with a little heat and nothing that needs a closed door.
- What did you think when we held hands for the first time?
- What is the most flirtatious thing I have done without noticing?
- Which of my looks makes you lose your train of thought?
- What does a perfect slow evening look like, wine or tea optional?
- How do you like to be kissed hello?
- Which song should come on when you walk through the door after a long trip?
- If the only rule for a weekend away was no work talk, where would we go?
- Which of your outfits do you want me to compliment more?
- Which compliment makes you smile for hours afterward?
- What was your favorite moment of closeness this month?
- How would you flirt with me if we had just met at a party?
- What date idea is romantic and a little bit risky?
- Which habit of mine do you find attractive without knowing why?
- What is the sweetest thing about being close to me?
- What did you think of me the first time I made you laugh?
- What would you like me to plan for you without being asked?
What to do with her answers
An answer that starts with I’d love to is a plan waiting for a date. Put it on the calendar the same week, or it quietly turns into one more thing you both meant to do.
For something more playful, try would you rather questions for couples or the couple questions game, 48 printable cards. Questions to ask before marriage goes further than the moving-in group.
Questions people ask
What are 21 questions to ask a girlfriend?
Take seven from three groups: Cute (questions 1 to 7), About us (49 to 55) and Deep (65 to 71). That gives you 21 that start easy, get closer, and end somewhere real. Ask them across two evenings if one feels long.
What are 20 juicy questions to ask a girl?
Juicy questions sit where flirty meets personal. Take ten from the Flirty group (113 to 122) and ten from About us (49 to 58). They work just as well on someone you are still dating, as long as you are both comfortable with the pace.
What are 5 flirty questions to ask your girlfriend?
Questions 113 to 117 are a good five to start with:
- What did you think when we held hands for the first time?
- What is the most flirtatious thing I have done without noticing?
- Which of my looks makes you lose your train of thought?
- What does a perfect slow evening look like, wine or tea optional?
- How do you like to be kissed hello?
What are 36 relationship questions?
You can build a set of 36 from this page with three sets of twelve: About us (49 to 60), Deep (65 to 76) and The future (81 to 92). Ask them in that order, so the closeness builds before the big topics arrive. Two or three evenings is a realistic pace.
What are good questions to ask your gf over text?
Cute and funny ones, since they fit in one line. Send the question with your own answer attached, so she does not feel interviewed. Save the Deep group for a call or an evening together.
How do I ask personal questions without it feeling like an interview?
Take turns going first, and answer each question yourself. Ask one follow-up and then change the subject for a while. Eight questions fired in a row feel like an application form, which is why the picker draws one at a time.
When an answer is a promise
In Alpacto, one of you promises and the other accepts, and both see what was agreed and what is still owed. A date night she asked for, or a trip you both keep mentioning, can live there instead of in the back of your head.