Alpacto › Challenges, Bets & Games
Couple challenges with a finish line, friendly bets with a stake, and what to do with the loser
Most lists of couple challenges are forty ideas and no way to keep any of them past day nine. This hub does the other half: how a challenge for two is written down so it survives, what a friendly bet needs before it starts, and which partner challenges are worth a month of your evenings. Below are 50 challenges sorted by what they train, each with a period, a line for what counts as done and a reward, a printable deck of the cards, and the rules for bets.
In short
A couple challenge is a pact with a finish line: one thing you both do for a set period, a way to see progress, and a reward at the end that you agreed on before day one. A friendly bet is a pact with a stake, and the two of you call the outcome. Both fail for the same reason, nobody wrote down what counts as done.
Pick one challenge from the list below, not five. Write the rule in one sentence, put the reward on the card, and check in on the same evening every week. On paper that is the tracker in this hub; in the Alpacto app it is a challenge pact that counts the days for you.
50 couple challenges, sorted by what they train
Good couple challenges are short and specific: one rule, a period of 7 to 30 days, a line for what counts as done, and a reward you agree on before day one. The 50 couple challenges below are sorted by what they train, so pick by what you want more of. In the bets at the end, the loser pays the reward.
The deck is 13 pages of cards, four to a page, with a rules page in front and a page of blank cards for challenges of your own. Free, no email.
Trust building activities for couples
One honest question a day for 14 days, answered before bed
Done when: Both of you answered the day's question every evening, in a sentence or more. Reward: Dinner out on day 15, at a place you both pick. Start it in the app
14 daysSwap one chore you each hate for a week, no comments on how it was done
Done when: Both swapped chores were done every time they came up, and nobody commented on the result. Reward: Each of you gets one evening off the chore you hate. Start it in the app
7 daysPlan a whole Saturday for the other person, in secret, budget agreed in advance
Done when: The plan stayed inside the budget and the other person arranged nothing. Reward: The second Saturday is planned by the other one, so both of you get a turn. Start it in the app
1 day eachSeven days of no phones at the table
Done when: Every meal at the table without a phone in sight; a phone on the table is a miss, and three misses restart the week. Reward: The Friday film is picked by whoever had fewer misses. Start it in the app
7 daysTell one thing you have never said out loud, one per week, for a month
Done when: Four things said, and each one listened to for a minute without a reply. Reward: A long walk together after the fourth one. Start it in the app
4 weeksAsk for one thing you need, in one sentence, every Sunday for a month
Done when: Each of you asked once a Sunday, and the other answered yes, no or later with a date. Reward: A slow Sunday morning for both if every later became a date that was kept. Start it in the app
4 weeksSay thank you for one specific thing every day for 14 days
Done when: One thing named a day, with what it did for you, written down by each of you. Reward: Read your two lists to each other on day 15. Start it in the app
14 daysA 20-minute check-in on the same evening every week for six weeks
Done when: Check-in held on the planned evening: what worked, what did not, one request each. Reward: A dinner you pick together after week six. Start it in the app
6 weeksRelationship building activities for couples
A 30 day challenge for couples: one small kind act a day, logged on the tracker
Done when: One kind act a day, logged by the person who did it, with no day skipped twice in a row. Reward: The reward written on the tracker on day one, for example a weekend away. Start it in the app
30 daysCook one new recipe together every week for eight weeks
Done when: Eight recipes cooked start to finish together, none repeated. Reward: Cook your favorite of the eight for friends. Start it in the app
8 weeksA 20-minute walk together every evening for 21 days, rain or not
Done when: Twenty minutes on foot together before nine, and each of you may call it off once. Reward: A hike you plan together on day 22. Start it in the app
21 daysOne handwritten note a week for a month, left where the other will find it
Done when: Four notes written by hand, each left in a place the other will find it. Reward: Read all eight notes together on day 29. Start it in the app
4 weeksRead the same book and talk about it for ten minutes every Sunday
Done when: The book finished by the last Sunday, with ten minutes of talk each Sunday. Reward: Pick the next book together over dinner. Start it in the app
6 weeksTen minutes of undistracted talk every evening for two weeks
Done when: Ten minutes on a timer, phones in another room, on at least 12 of the 14 evenings. Reward: An evening with nothing planned, chosen by both. Start it in the app
14 daysA new date idea every week, in turns, for eight weeks
Done when: Eight dates, each planned by the person whose turn it was, within a budget set beforehand. Reward: The date you both rank first is repeated, planned by whoever did not plan it first. Start it in the app
8 weeksLearn one thing together for 30 days, 15 minutes a day
Done when: Fifteen minutes a day of a language, a dance or a card game, on at least 25 of the 30 days. Reward: One lesson or class together, paid from the savings jar. Start it in the app
30 daysA shared playlist: each adds one song a day for 14 days
Done when: One song a day from each of you, with one line on why you chose it. Reward: Listen to the whole list together on day 15. Start it in the app
14 daysPartner challenges for the home
A 30 day no-takeout challenge, savings go to a shared reward
Done when: No ordered food and no ready meals at home; eating out on a date does not count. Reward: The money not spent on delivery books a weekend away. Start it in the app
30 daysFifteen minutes of tidying together every evening for two weeks
Done when: Fifteen minutes on a timer, both of you, every evening. Reward: An evening with no chores for either of you. Start it in the app
14 daysOwn one new area of the home whole for a month, noticing included
Done when: The area stays at its written standard of done, without a reminder from the other. Reward: The owner picks which area the other takes over next. Start it in the app
30 daysA week where every chore has a written standard of done
Done when: Every chore has one line saying what done means, and nobody argues about whether it was done. Reward: Each of you skips one chore next week. Start it in the app
7 daysOne decluttering box a weekend for six weeks
Done when: Six boxes left the house, donated or sold. Reward: What the sold things bring buys something for the home that you pick together. Start it in the app
6 weekendsA ten-minute kitchen reset after dinner, in turns, for 21 days
Done when: The kitchen reset in ten minutes before nine, the turn alternating every evening. Reward: One night off the kitchen for both, with food ordered in. Start it in the app
21 daysPlan the week on Sunday for four Sundays: meals, bins, laundry days
Done when: A written plan on the fridge every Sunday that both of you agreed to. Reward: A meal out when all four plans were kept. Start it in the app
4 weeksHand over one hidden job for a month: bills, appointments or gifts
Done when: The new owner does the noticing, planning and doing without a reminder. Reward: The person who handed it over gets a day off household admin. Start it in the app
30 daysCouples adventure challenge
One place neither of you has been, every month, for a year
Done when: Twelve places, each new to both of you, visited together. Reward: A trip chosen from the twelve. Start it in the app
12 monthsA different route to the same coffee shop, ten weekends in a row
Done when: Ten different routes walked together. Reward: The last coffee is paid by whoever lost the vote for the best route. Start it in the app
10 weekendsTry one thing the other person loves and you have avoided, once a month
Done when: Six things tried with a good attitude for at least an hour. Reward: A thing of your choice that the other tries next. Start it in the app
6 monthsA sunrise together once a month, no photos allowed
Done when: Six sunrises watched from the first light to the sun clearing the horizon, with no photos. Reward: Breakfast out after each one. Start it in the app
6 monthsPlan a trip with a budget and a deadline, and book it on the deadline
Done when: A trip booked on the deadline, within the budget. Reward: The trip itself. Start it in the app
up to 60 daysA free day out every month, found only by walking out the door
Done when: Four days out with no booking and spending under a small limit you set before. Reward: A paid treat after the fourth one. Start it in the app
4 monthsCook a dish from a country you have never visited, once a week for six weeks
Done when: Six dishes from six countries, cooked together. Reward: A restaurant from the country you rated best. Start it in the app
6 weeksA 24-hour screen-free day once a month
Done when: Three days of 24 hours with phones off or out of reach, except for emergencies. Reward: A long breakfast the morning after each one. Start it in the app
3 monthsMoney and habits
A no-spend weekend every other week for two months
Done when: Four weekends with no spending beyond bills already due. Reward: The money not spent goes into the shared jar for something you choose. Start it in the app
8 weeksTrack every shared expense for 30 days, then decide one thing to cut
Done when: Every shared expense logged within a day, and one cut agreed on day 31. Reward: The first month's saving from the cut pays for a treat. Start it in the app
30 daysBoth in bed by eleven for 21 nights
Done when: Both of you in bed by eleven on at least 18 of the 21 nights. Reward: A sleep-in morning for both. Start it in the app
21 daysTen thousand steps each, five days a week, for a month, checked together
Done when: Twenty days with ten thousand steps each, checked on the same evening every week. Reward: A day hike you plan together. Start it in the app
4 weeksCancel one subscription a week for a month
Done when: Four subscriptions cancelled that neither of you used last month. Reward: A month of savings goes to something you do together. Start it in the app
4 weeksA weekly 15-minute money meeting for eight weeks
Done when: Eight meetings with the same agenda: money due, bills due, one decision. Reward: A small treat from the fun money after each meeting. Start it in the app
8 weeksA savings jar: both put in the same small amount every day for 60 days
Done when: The amount fixed on day one and put in every day by both of you. Reward: The jar pays for the goal you named on day one. Start it in the app
60 daysCook at home five nights a week for four weeks
Done when: Twenty home-cooked dinners. Reward: One restaurant meal paid from the money you did not spend on takeout. Start it in the app
4 weeksTen minutes of stretching together every morning for 21 days
Done when: Ten minutes together on at least 18 of the 21 mornings. Reward: A class or a massage you book together. Start it in the app
21 daysBets between the two of you
Who finishes their book first; the loser cooks the winner's favorite dinner
Done when: The first to finish the last page, as confirmed by the other. Reward: The winner's favorite dinner, cooked by the loser. Start it in the app
up to 30 daysWho keeps their streak longer on any challenge above; the loser owes a free evening
Done when: The longest streak when the challenge ends, as counted by both. Reward: A free evening for the winner. Start it in the app
the length of the chosen challengeA guess on the final score, the weather, the delivery time; small stake, you two call it
Done when: The closest guess when the result comes in. Reward: The small stake you agreed before the guess. Start it in the app
one eventWho can go longer without checking the news; the loser plans date night
Done when: The last one to check wins, and each of you reports your own check honestly. Reward: The loser plans and pays for date night. Start it in the app
up to 7 daysWho nails the recipe on the first try; the winner picks the next challenge
Done when: You both cook it and each rate the two plates from 1 to 10, and the higher total wins. Reward: The winner picks the next challenge. Start it in the app
1 eveningWho walks more steps in a week; the loser does the winner's least favorite chore
Done when: The higher step total on the phones on Sunday evening. Reward: The loser does the winner's least favorite chore once. Start it in the app
7 daysWho wakes first on weekdays for two weeks; the loser makes weekend coffee
Done when: The more weekdays you woke before the other, counted at the end. Reward: Coffee in bed on the weekend. Start it in the app
14 daysWho guesses more of the other's favorites: ten questions about films, meals and songs
Done when: The most correct answers out of ten, written down before you check. Reward: The winner picks the film. Start it in the app
1 eveningWhat a challenge for two needs written down before day one
The couples in the threads we read stop challenges for three reasons: the rule was vague, the period was too long, or the reward was decided afterwards and felt like nothing. All three are fixed on paper before you start.
One sentence for the rule. “Walk together every evening” fails on the first rainy Tuesday, while “twenty minutes, any weather, before nine, either of us can call it” survives.
A period you can see the end of. Thirty days is the longest a first challenge should run, and seven is fine.
A reward agreed before day one, not “we will see”: a dinner out, a free Sunday, a thing one of you wanted and the other kept postponing. The reward is what makes day twenty-three worth it, and it works only if both of you know what it is.
Friendly bets: the stake, the call, and what the loser owes
A friendly bet between partners needs three things on a card before it starts: what each of you puts up, when it is decided, and who calls the result if you disagree. Bets go wrong when the stake was never written down or nobody agreed who decides.
Stakes that are fun to lose are things, not money: cooking the winner’s dinner, a massage, the next date planned and paid for, a chore taken over for a week. Keep the stake deliverable within a week, or the debt goes stale and so does the joke.
On paper, the IOU cards in the coin bank set hold the debt until it is paid. In the Alpacto app, a bet is a pact with a stake in coins or in a named reward, and the loser’s debt stays on both screens until it is closed from both sides. Both of you call the outcome inside the app: if your answers match, the bet closes; if they differ, you talk and answer again.
Three couple challenges written out as pacts
A challenge survives when four lines are on paper: the rule, the period, who checks, and the reward. Below are three of the fifty above, written the way you would write them on a card or in the app.
No takeout for 30 days
Rule: no ordered food and no ready meals at home, Monday to Sunday. Eating out on a date does not count, and a meal at a friend’s house does not count either.
Period: 30 days from the first Monday. Check: whoever cooked marks the day, and the other person confirms it that evening. Reward: the money that would have gone to delivery goes into the trip jar, and on day 30 you book the weekend.
Twenty minutes outside, every evening, for two weeks
Rule: twenty minutes on foot together, any weather, before nine. Either of you can call it off once; the second miss ends the challenge for both.
Period: 14 days. Check: the one who suggested the walk marks it, the other confirms. Reward: a free Sunday morning for each of you, with no questions about how it was spent.
A week without reminders
Rule: for seven days nobody reminds anybody about anything on the chore chart. A missed row stays missed until the weekly check, and it is read out then, not before.
Period: 7 days. Check: the weekly check on Sunday, with the chart on the table. Reward: the person who reminded the least in the past month picks the film.
The three have the same shape. The rule fits in one sentence, the period ends on a date you can name, and the reward was agreed before day one. When a challenge feels like it is failing, one of those three lines is usually missing.
When one of you wants to stop
Stopping is allowed, and it is better said out loud than done quietly. Agree in advance what happens then: the challenge ends for both with no reward, or the one who stops owes the stake, as in a bet.
What does not work is changing the rule halfway. If day twelve shows the rule was wrong, finish the period as written, then write a better rule for the next one.
Questions to ask each other
Questions to ask your partner
120 questions sorted into deep, fun, love, get-to-know and future, plus six rules that keep it a conversation. Read the 120 questions.
Questions to ask before marriage
100 questions, ordered by what married couples argue about most: kids, chores, conflict, money. Read the 100 questions.
Would you rather for couples
Questions sorted by where you are: the car, the table, a video call, and 48 cards with a score. Play would you rather.
Truth or dare for couples
48 cards in four themes without the spicy half, and rules for two players. Play truth or dare.
Questions to ask your boyfriend
128 questions by stage, from early dates to moving in, with a picker that keeps the ones you like. The questions for him.
Questions to ask your girlfriend
128 different questions, written to ask now and again a year later. The questions for her.
Relationship check-in questions
63 questions and a builder for a 15-minute weekly talk or a monthly one, ending with one agreement. Build your check-in.
Before moving in together
63 questions to mark agree, talk or deal-breaker, an agenda from your answers and a moving-in checklist. The questions before you move in.
Ideas, quizzes and habits for two
Long distance relationship ideas
40 ideas with a slot for each, a weekly call plan in both time zones and a visit countdown. Read the long distance ideas.
Gottman Card Decks
What the app holds, why one page says 14 decks and the App Store says 22, and what the printed decks cost. Read the review.
Valentine’s Day ideas for him
32 ideas that cost time instead of money, each with a day and an hour. Read the Valentine’s Day ideas.
Love language quiz
Twenty pairs for each of you, two charts side by side and three things to do this week for each partner. Take the quiz together.
At home date night ideas
64 ideas filtered by cost, time and energy, a pick for tonight and a month of Fridays to print. Find a date for tonight.
Journal prompts for couples
96 prompts in six themes, one for today, or a 30-day shared journal with room for both answers. Start a journal for two.
Healthy habits for couples
40 small habits for two; pick three, set who and how often, and print a 30-day tracker. Pick your habits.
Printables for challenges and bets
Print, fill in together, stick on the fridge. Free, no email. Printable couple challenges: all five trackers are on printable challenge trackers, the card games on printable couple games.
Questions about couple challenges and bets
What are couple challenges?
Couple challenges are pacts with a finish line: one thing you both do for a set period, a way to see progress, and a reward at the end that you agreed on before day one. Unlike an open-ended goal, it ends on a date you can name.
Is there a printable list of couple challenges?
Yes. The deck above has all 50 challenges as cards, four to a page, in US Letter and A4. Each card has the period, what counts as done, the reward, and a line for both of you to sign.
What is a good 30 day challenge for couples to start with?
One small kind act a day, logged on a tracker both of you can see. It is short enough to do on a bad day, visible enough to notice, and the reward at the end is agreed before day one. Bigger challenges come after you have finished one.
How long should a couple challenge be?
Seven to thirty days for a first one. Longer than a month and the finish line stops pulling; shorter than a week and nothing has changed. Thirty days with a weekly check-in is the format most couples in the threads finished.
A 30-day challenge is a start, not a guarantee of a habit. In a 2009 study of 96 volunteers (Lally et al., European Journal of Social Psychology), making a daily behavior automatic took from 18 to 254 days. Missing a single day did not materially affect the process.
What can we bet on if we do not want to bet money?
Things you can deliver within a week: a cooked dinner, a massage, a planned date, a chore taken over. Write the stake on a card before the bet starts, and agree who decides if you disagree on the result.
Are challenges and bets the same as trust building activities for couples?
They overlap. A challenge trains a habit you both want; a trust exercise trains saying and hearing hard things. The first block of the list above is the trust side, and it uses the same shape: one rule, one period, one reward.
How do we set up a friendly bet with our partner?
Write four things on a card before it starts: what each of you puts up, the date it is decided, who calls the result, and what the loser owes. In Alpacto both of you call the outcome in the app, and the bet closes when your answers match. If they differ, you talk and answer again.
Is there an app for couple challenges?
Yes: in Alpacto a challenge is a pact with a period and a reward, and a bet is a pact with a stake that the two of you settle. The app counts the days and holds the debt, so neither of you has to keep score. It is on iPhone and Android.
Bets the two of you settle
In Alpacto a bet is a pact with a stake in coins, and both of you call the outcome. The debt stays visible until it is closed.